My Life Until the Age of Eighteen


Before you read, there are some things you should know. I moved from the Philippines to Los Angeles when I was only six months old, so it’s fair to call this city my home. While I have been living here for most of my life, I am still not a citizen and this dilemma has been something I have struggled with, especially when I went to college. Because I am identified as an immigrant, not a citizen, it has made me miss out on financial aid and limit my opportunities and this really hit me my senior year of High School. Another important thing to state was before starting my freshman year of college, I went through a breakup which made me feel even more loss with who I was and what I was going to do with my life. In this poem I am describing how I felt during that time of my life where I was lost and when I would always dwelled on the past and lived on the “what if’s ?” However, I realized that mentality was only holding me back from what I could be. The poem ends with my current situation which is being stuck in quarantine.

Eagle Rock is where my story begins

It was also the town I grew up in

The first best friend I made was named Leiann

However, my true ride or die was Aaron Hans

He was the first person who truly felt like my better half

And is still today the only person who knows how to make me laugh

Everything until the senior year of high school was a blurr

And honestly I wish I could tell you but I am still unsure

However what I do remember is the boy with the blue eyes

Who I swore was the first love of my life

Our first date was at the Avenue 26 taco stand

And honestly it was the best tacos I ever had

However, nothing beats Prom, Graduation, or Gradnite

Nor the time we stayed up and saw the sunrise

Or the first time I said “I love you,” in a house at Hill Drive

And the last time I said it, I had to cry that whole night

Heartbroken, Lonely, and Depressed

We picked ourselves up and got on dressed

We learned that it was okay to be lost

Knowing that just because one world ended

Does not mean yours has to stop

Born into a country I no longer call my home

And the place that is, will not accept me as their own

Makes me feel like I am stuck in limbo

Constantly feeling like a person

Watching everyone live their lives

While I am staring at them through the windows

Birthday Cards are great

But the only one I want is green

It is sad that the world truly hits you

When you turn Eighteen

CalState LA the first place I went to college

Realizing that it will not be the only place I will obtain my knowledge

Eagle Rock to Alhambra was a 30 minute commute

And soon I would eventually drive and memorize the route

As I stayed at home while my friends went away

I felt envious that I had to stay

But as I look back on it

I see it as a blessing in disguise

Because I believe everything happens for a reason

So maybe we just have to wait for my big surprise

Until then I am still growing up and I know there is more to see

I just hope we get out of quarantine

Before I turn nineteen

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